To China

I'll be leaving for Shanghai, China tonight. God knows when will I have internet access there as I will have to suscribe myself. Besides I've also heard of a rumoured blogspot ban in China.. so we'll see how it goes la.

Its pretty scary if you ask me... I really don't know what to expect there but I know Daddy God is gonna be with me all the way!

To everyone I wish you all Shalom meaning Peace in hebrew.

Goodbye!

The Love of a Grandfather

Yesterday my grandfather passed my aunt a note.

The note started with a few mention about the maid who is currently taking care of him after my grandma's passing.

Then, he wrote about how much he will be missing me while i'm away in Shanghai and that even though we're not that close to one another he wishes me all the best and to have a successful life. This applies to my sister as well.

Next my grandfather wrote to my dad who's working in Cambodia, wishing him that he'll become a successful man (which he is) and also to live a good life.

Finally he wrote about my aunt, asking her to quit her job when he wins the lottery for he's not happy with my aunt's company.

My grandfather wrote the message in clear english, he could very well outwrite anyone of us.

Its not a norm for my grandfather to write notes, the reason he did this was to tell us his feelings and desires - how much he loves and cares for us. My grandfather has difficulty speaking and walking due to his infirmities. Even so this has not dampened his love for us as a father.

I have to admit I was always closer to my grandma but that day I saw how much my grandfather loves his family. Its one thing to provide, its another to love. One could provide for his family without love, but my grandfather not being able to provide showed me the greatest love one could ever give.

And this is more precious than any provision in the world.

My grandfather is a great man, he may not have been rich as others were, not as healthy as others are but he is a great man of Love and i'm so proud of him.

Unknown to my grandfather, this simple note will transform my life drastically.

I was touched by the note, at the same moment a revelation of God's love fell into my heart. Seeing how much my grandfather loves me, my family in his infirmities how much more would our father in heaven would love us?

My grandfather wishes me a successful life, he wishes me all the best. Would my heavenly father wish me any less? That desire of every parent to see their kids live a good life is the same desire that God has for all of us. He gave up His son that we may live a good life.

Yesterday, I experienced love from my grandfather and in turn love all over again from Daddy God. Its just a simple revelation of love, but this revelation alone is all I need to know that i'll lead a good, abundant, shalom life.

I Feel

Our feelings and emotions are what makes us Human.

Ever watched those sci-fi movies about Artificial Intelligence or robots?

Artificial Intelligence do think, but they do not feel.

We are created with feelings yet at some point you would have heard someone say they wished they're heart was made of stone, not wanting to have feelings.

Our maker understand our feelings but He's telling us not to trust in our feelings but to have Faith. I can see why, feelings are so misleading.

Right now i'm feeling real Angry. Streamyx is trying to be funny with me by giving me a bad line which makes it difficult or simply impossible for me to go online. At the same time my Final Fantasy 12 disc starts to have errors just when I've fallen in 'love' with the game. Also adding in some 'growing pains' and u get one frustrated Jonathan.

Who do you think of first when something goes wrong? I think of God. Somehow I always think about Him when things go wrong - not to pray but to question. The first question would be 'WHY GOD? WHY?' Everyime when something goes wrong for me I'd think God is behind it and my anger only makes me angry at God.

Faith makes me believe that God loves me no matter how i feel about him. Its hard to see blessings coming in to your life with your back turned against God but it still does. Because its not our faith that brings us our blessings ; its our faithful God.

My bro Eugene is currently so blessed in America. (Check out his blog by clicking on the link on the bottom right.) Eugene's life is a perfect testament of God's love and favour to His children. I on the other hand seem to not have recieved anything yet. I'm still struggling to grow up and finding my place in life. Alot of questions unanswered, alot of frustration building and problems rising.

Yet blessed i know i am, by faith i know my life would reflect God's glory in spite of my circumstances. I'm actually writing this post to let out steam. So please excuse the repetitive nature of my message.

There's alot in my heart that i need to let out, but sometimes i just don't feel like talking to God even though he's the only person available.

I want out of my feelings,

but without then i wouldn't be me.

People always say 'Be Yourself'

but what happens when 'Myself' isn't good enough?


Daddy help me.

Breaking Free from Religion ; Entering His Presence

Religion is nothing but a set of supernatural laws or rituals believed to be given by 'Divine' beings. Thats what religion is if u ask me. No need to refer to the irrefutable Oxford Dictionary.

I've been going through some 'Growing Pains' for the past week and I had this Q&A session with Daddy God. It was no quiet solitary confession with Him, instead I was literally shouting my questions to Him. I went to Him in anger, in hurt and He listened. He listened with compassion, His heart feeling my hurt, my anger.

Any religious person would be appalled simply by knowing the way i spoke to God. But I believe God himself isn't concern about that. He's concern about me. Fast forward merely a few days and here I am with a spirit of thanksgiving, praising the Lord, all these because of His love. And to really get me into this spirit of thankgiving is His faithfulness. Yong Kim was telling me this problem of his but he knew God would see him through. Guess what? God's favour was with Yong Kim and to make it simple - everything's okay!

Its so awesome to know what a Faithful God we have. All the promises mentioned in the Bible, all the Blessings are for us! And knowing that God's word will not return to Him void, we can't help but be BLESSED!

Ever since listening to Ps Prince's ministry I truly know why Christianity is not a religion. God is getting so Real in my life. He's no longer the MAN up there. He's the man IN me, WITH me, FOR me.

For whatever reason, i seem to be kept reminded that i'm still young. People seem to be asking me my age and saying that i'm young. I on the other hand wanna grow older. You know, completing my studies and stuff. Perhaps God is asking me to enjoy the ride. The 2 most inspiring words to me are 'It's okay la' and 'Rest' said by non other than my bro Eugene. At first glance it sounds like 2 lazy words but HAH, the Holy Spirit uses such small words to bring blessings into lives!

My bro Eugene is currently in America and I am forever grateful to him. I bless him and Honour him with all my heart. I myself will be heading to China on the 27th for my internship for 9 months. 2 beloved child of God in 2 different places. 1 God with countless blessings. My spiritual mathematic is telling me its gonna be a wonderful ride for the both of us and I confess that in Jesus' name.


To end my post,


I'm breaking free from religion. My God is my Friend, my Father, my King and I His Friend, His Son, His Prince.

Final Struggle

I made a post based on Ps Chin's 'Exchanging Your Strength With Jesus' Strength' sermon, it was titiled Boasting In My Weaknesses.

In that post i mentioned about letting go and letting God. We do not need to fight life's toughest battles, Jesus has fought and conquered it all at the cross for us. As children of God, we will live an abundant life and by that i mean a life full of love, health and prosperity. All that we want and need will be provided. Our part is just to open our doors to recieve. Its that simple. However problem arises when we depend on our self effort. For example, we work hard, but we don't look to our hard work to give us the results, we look to God who never disappoints. God can't work when we insist to work for Him. God will not be able to provide when we strive to provide for ourselves.

Simple enough. Upon knowing that truth, I felt secure in my life, my future. I gave everything to God. At least I thought I did - I never gave my relationships to God.

I realised this upon falling for a girl. One day I woke up feeling in love. I thought I was in love with Daddy God, my day went by great, until I got hurt. My heart just sank, that lovely feeling just disappeared. Clearly I wasn't in love with Daddy God. I was unconciously using my self effort in my relationships. For this case, i was hoping that by loving and caring more for that girl I would be loved and cared for in return, apparently thats not the case.

Recently, i got really upset because of this and thats when i know God is telling me i've still not given this part of my life to Him. Its easy to give and believe God for things like success and health, we don't fall in love with our career, but we fall in love with people. I've fallen deeply for this girl and it hurts holding on to this love knowing that no matter what i do its not gonna work.

I questioned God why me? why is it so hard for me? why can't i have someone i love? and i believe the answer is because He loves me. Ps Chin's life is a perfect example of a man who struggled with God in this area and also a perfect testament to God's grace and love when he decided to let go.

I hate going through this, but i'm glad that God pointed out the final area of my life in which i've yet to let go. I've had enough problems with my relationships and its time to give all of them to Daddy. The only way i could let go is to see the bigger picture of Daddy's great blessing for me. I'm asking Daddy for a revelation of that blessing for i know Daddy's making a way for Greatness in my life.

I'm back home, with my friends and family. I wanna cherish and enjoy my time back home, not getting upset over something i can't change. This will be my final struggle, i'm handling my relationships to Daddy and He'll return them a hundreth times better in quantity and in quality.