Things I'd Never Thought I'd Do In Swiss

Switzerland, the heart of Europe, kinda... the Austrians say they're the heart of Europe but i dun really care. A land plagued with cows, grass, hills and french speaking people for my part of Switzerland, never would i dream of improving my chinese or being more proud to be Asian.

Anyway here's a list of thing's i'd never thought i'd do or feel in Swiss

1. To have a majority of Hong Kong friends.

2. To speak cantonese more often than any other language.

3. To find Mandarin to be 'Sexier' than French. Seriously French is overrated.

4. To actually want to improve my Mandarin and Cantonese.

5. To find bahasa reasonably useful.

6. To speak bahasa with a Korean. (i'm serious, i was so so shocked listening to him speak in bahasa Indonesia!)

7. To 'attend' a Singaporean church - NCC sermons!!

8. To be interested in the Korean language.

9. To find the 'grass to be so much greener' back home.

10. To have never ever been so proud to be a Malaysian Chinese!

the things i'd never thought i'd do aren't merely limited to this list. almost nothing turned out as expected and in a way it took a turn for the better i believe. God is Good.

Remember the walk in the dessert in my previous post? well the children of Israel weren't alone while they were wandering, God was with them in the cloud and pillar of Fire. Jesus is forever here with me, in me, FOR ME.

I remember the times my primary school teacher calling me a 'Banana Person' - Yellow on the outside white on the inside. I used to embrace that but NOT ANYMORE, i'm uniquely a Malaysian Chinese :)

Homeward Bound

One week from now and i'll be on my way home. I seriously can't wait to go home, yet home will never be the same again. But i'm hopeful that its only going to get better.

I've been super emo lately, been listening to too many emotional chinese songs lately thanks to mp3.baidu.com - awesome website that lets u download almost every chinese song in existance.

Life is full of regrets dont you think? Sometimes people come and go so fast in your life you could only regret not being able to know them better. I've made some really sweet friends in Switzerland but i'm not sure will i be seeing them in 2nd year as everyone is contemplating on changing to another school. But short friendships can be quite sweet, you know them long enough to have fun but short enough to avoid conflict.

Also i find life to be a big empty void of nothingness. See how i empahsize on the emptiness, i'm using 3 words bearing the same meaning to express how empty i think life is. Okay la, its not that bad. Life isn't oblivion but it sure is one heck of a long journey.

I'm not walking in oblivion i'm just walking in the desert or a big big plain with nothing but sand waiting to enter my promised land. at least thats how i feel. God sees me successful, he sees me prosperous and all because God is outside time. He sees us as who we become eventually, which is good. I however do not have the sixth sense and am not patient enough to wait!!

Yes i confess i'm one impatient brat. i complain that i dun have the things i want, but know i will have them, still i complain. complain about life and its emptiness, meaningless existance when i very well know that its not. must be the songs.

Perhaps we're all impatient one way or another, the only difference is that we exercise our inability to be patient differently. Some go on relationships after relationships, some take drugs, some are so impatient they just kill themselves. I however am too gutless to do any of those except to whine on my blog. haha.

still everytime i whine i'm reminded that He's love and promises endure forever. so all the promises he made will come to past because of Jesus! mayb this is what the world calls as growing pains la.

anyhow, tomorrow's the beginning of my Finals and must study sikit. i'll see some of you real soon. buh bye.

16 Jan 07

Forget the written time, its still 16th in Switzerland and 16 is a very special day to me, firstly I FINISHED MY SERVICE EXAMINATION. I duno pass or not yet, but it seems very likely that i passed la. Walao wei, you people really duno how torturing service can be,
woke up as early as 5 am to serve breakfast and worked as late as 1 am plus the next morning. Thank God its all over. C'est FINI FINI FINI!!!

Also today happens to be the launch date of WORLD OF WARCRAFT THE BURNING CRUSADE. Haven't been playing WoW for a long long time, not even sure if my bestest WoW buddy Ryck CKW still playing or not, due to his upcoming STPM. The sweet sweet times we had in WoW. I'll never forget our sweet strolls through the Deadmines killing everything in our paths, or those lvling up days in Strengthlethorn Vale.

Anyhow i'm still a super duper big WoW addict 'ahem' fan. Oh and not forgeting my little cousin wayne, don't play play, his Warlock could own you N00Bs anyday.

In commemorating this momentous occasion, i bestow upon you the BURNING CRUSADE logo!

Will be having non stop WarCraft 3 skirmishes to satisfy my thirst for WoW. God Bless People!

I Rejoice

i've been rejoicing through my trials and circumstances.

Today i've decided that i would rejoice by celebrating life with the Lord. No more looking at my trials and circumstances, no more trying to hang in there.. I'm soaring above my adversities with Christ, i'm putting on the Best Robe, I'm Killing The Fatted Cow, I'm throwing a Party as i celebrate my sonship with Daddy God!

Abba, Father

I'm really looking forward to 'MAY BE' coming back end of this month. My academic semester is ending on the 27th this month and i'm supposed to start a 4 - 6 month internship after this month. Initial plan was to get an internship in switzerland. I went for an interview but got turned down and since i'm longing to go back i've decided to try getting an internship near home.

As i'm saying this i can already here all the voices of condemnation shouting things like 'Stupid', 'What a Waste', 'No point coming home'. Somehow these voices of condemnation sounds very much like what i think my parents' thoughts are to the point where i feel like i'm unwelcomed home. My parents are not like that, its all in my head yet somehow this premature return seems to be bothering my parents. I don't talk to anyone else about this because somehow i'm afraid they would say the same things.

I don't want to be seen as the spoilt brat who doesn't appreciate the opportunity study abroad. Yet this is how i've been led to feel like for the past few months. Honestly i would be feeling pretty bad by now, i feel so alone, if there's a time when i would feel like i just don't belong it would be now. I feel myself not belonging in Swiss, yet i feel like i don't belong back home as well. But i'm still a super blessed boy, because i know i belong to the most High God who happens to be my Daddy in Heaven.

During times when i feel like i'm failing everyone i love, i feel embarassed to go to anyone i know i have my Abba to run to. My failures, my mistakes have all been crucified at the cross. Even though there may be times i don't feel his love, there's never a time he doesn't love me. Yi Wern asked in my chatterbox "is zhu whee the only visitor?", whether the answer is Yes, or No it doesn't matter to me, i'll continue posting. Just like life, even if i've got nothing more but God i'll continue living, living in his Grace and Love forever.

I'm not comparing God to my parents, or trying to make my parents seem like the culprit. My parents love me alot, enough to send me away from home that i may have a brighter future. (no sarcasm here) There's a little misunderstanding between us, but i know neither one of us are perfect nor is anyone to be blamed. They need Abba just as much as i do, and i want them to know their son is in good hands because their Abba loves their son more than they can imagine. The world can think or say whatever they want about me, but God would raise me up above the world. I need not be compared to the child of another parent for i'm the child of God.

This is what i told my grandma before she left, that she need not worry about me for God is going to take care of me for the rest of my life, He'll bless me and prosper me, just as he will take care of her. And today i affirm my confession of His love, His willingness, His crucifixion for me. I cry out abba, father, and He comes, sacrficing himself just to be here for me.

Love Led 2007

As i was reflecting through 2006 just before the year came to an end i found myself thinking alot about the rather 'unpleasant' moments i've been through. And come to think about it, it wasn't as unpleasant as it seemed. I was reflecting more than what happened in 2006, i was thinking of all the times i had misunderstandings, disputes, quarrels with people who are close to me. Despite what happened, they are the people whom i care most, whom i love most today. I was listening to a sermon and there was a part where it mentioned about love for a fellow brother, and i felt that this year its going to be a year of God's Love. God will be pouring out revelations of His Love and also showing me how to love.

My shephard came for me last year, and this year He will be affirming His everlasting love for me because I know He loves me too much to see me lost again. Many of us forget God's love for us as we go through our daily lives. We get all Fired Up after a Church Camp, after a Conference or perhaps after being Born Again but like every normal human being that Fire, that Passion fades away. This was very real to me especially when i was doubting God. I used to be a Cell Leader back in youth, and whenever i saw a young believer being passionate about God ; i saw myself, how i used to be and thinking to myself that the zeal and passion would only run out sooner or later. Christianity then to me seemed to be all about Emotions. You're led to feel like ur loved at the beginning and then left to rot away as u stop feeling God's love.

It sounds stupid i know, even non believers know that God's love is everlasting cause thats what we're preaching to them. But i believe this is very real, in fact its even in the Bible - The Parable of the Lost Son. I got this through Ps Prince's sermon and i'm so blessed by this. Everyone knows the Parable Of The Lost Son, its all about the Forgiveness of the Father. However it's main point is actually about the Father's Love for us. I always thought that the Lost Son repented thats why his Father forgave him. But the son hasn't repented, he wasn't repenting when he was thinking of going back to his father asking to be hired, he was planning of a way to go home and get food. The reason for him returning wasn't because of his father it was for his belly. He was hungry, he was rehearsing that entire speech. Yet all this did not matter to the father. The father ran out to hug him and before the son could finish the speech the father ordered him to be clothed with the best robe and everything. Thats how much God loves us, he's always waiting for the lost to return and and all we need to do is turn to the father ; He'll come running towards us. And that loves causes us to repent.

A more interesting part i found out was the older brother's reaction. I became the older brother, I saw young believers coming to the Father and i thought to myself it's foolish while i continue working for my father - not because of love but obligation. The older brother complained to his father saying he's been working for him for years yet the father never gave a young goat to celebrate with his friends. I was complaining that i wasn't recieving my blessings, i wasn't being loved. And this is what the father replied "My son.... you are always with me, and everything I have is yours." Everything the father has the older brother has also. If the father has a 100 goats it means the older brother has 100 goats as well, simply because he's the son of his father not because of the work he has done. Yet he's getting all jealous when the father is giving his brother a goat. Its exactly the same for me, I had everything i ever needed, the Blessings, The love, it was all there but i wasn't aware of it, i didn't take it while it was freely given to me. Also, God was giving them to me not as a reward for serving Him, he freely gives them because i'm His son.

Every blessing, every healing, everything we ever needed is provided by God, all we need to do is know that He is willing to Give. Christianity is anything but Emotions, its Love. The reason we're so fired up after camps and conferences its because we're reminded of how much God loves us. If we have a revelation of how much God truly loves us, we'd be fired up long after camps regardless of our emotions.
Love is so awesome and I truly want to be led by His love this year. To my family and friends, i love you all. I may not show it and i may not be treating you the way i should be but God's working in me. Know that i Bless and Honour all of you, for what we Bless and honour increases and so shall your health, your life, your prosperity increase. Have a Blessed New Year.