Grandpa
I was telling daddy God just a few hours ago that although i've been feeling insecure in many areas and I've been falling into self effort in those areas, I want Him to know that He is my God, my Savior and that I chosed to trust in Him for everything in my life.
Few hours later, I was awoken by a call from my sister saying that my grandfather just passed away.
My grandfather was suffering from alzheimer's disease for the past year and as time went by his body just got weaker. One sickness led to another, it doesn't seem to stop. My grandfather's condition was something really hard for me to pray for, I just didn't know what to pray seeing him in such a condition. Honestly I found it hard to believe for a complete healing, I wanted to have others to believe with me, to pray with me. I sent an email to Eugene just last week but now my grandfather is gone.
My grandfather was not born again which is my primary concern. I was believing in Jesus to tell His love for my grandfather personally. My feelings are a mess now, but I'm reminded that Jesus has the final say and somehow I believe Jesus brought my grandfather home seeing that my grandfather really wanted to 'go' ever since having the illness. Furthermore, I was told my grandfather passed away real sudden and peacefully, 10 minutes ago he was asking for breakfast and 10 minutes later he left.
Still, is this from the Holy Spirit or is this what I want myself to believe?
I found myself writing a similar post just a year ago about my grandma's passing. Honestly i've been to too many funerals for the past year. I was believing for the exact same things a year ago and the results seem to be no different. I did not see what I was hoping for.
Yet, I continue to believe. Believing that Jesus is my savior, my provider, for me, for my family.
This is no act of faith, rather it seems more like desperation. I'm a desperate soul seeking for help, I know I can't do it on my own. Even if things doesn't seem to turn out the way I was hoping it to, or if my prayers seem unanswered I'm gonna continue to believe, what else can I do?
There's something that i'm beyond doubt, that is the faithfulness and love of my daddy God.
Love that prepared a home for my grandfather, Love sent His son to die for my grandfather.
I pray that my grandfather is home with Jesus right now, free from his sufferings, reunited with my grandma.
I miss them so much.
Few hours later, I was awoken by a call from my sister saying that my grandfather just passed away.
My grandfather was suffering from alzheimer's disease for the past year and as time went by his body just got weaker. One sickness led to another, it doesn't seem to stop. My grandfather's condition was something really hard for me to pray for, I just didn't know what to pray seeing him in such a condition. Honestly I found it hard to believe for a complete healing, I wanted to have others to believe with me, to pray with me. I sent an email to Eugene just last week but now my grandfather is gone.
My grandfather was not born again which is my primary concern. I was believing in Jesus to tell His love for my grandfather personally. My feelings are a mess now, but I'm reminded that Jesus has the final say and somehow I believe Jesus brought my grandfather home seeing that my grandfather really wanted to 'go' ever since having the illness. Furthermore, I was told my grandfather passed away real sudden and peacefully, 10 minutes ago he was asking for breakfast and 10 minutes later he left.
Still, is this from the Holy Spirit or is this what I want myself to believe?
I found myself writing a similar post just a year ago about my grandma's passing. Honestly i've been to too many funerals for the past year. I was believing for the exact same things a year ago and the results seem to be no different. I did not see what I was hoping for.
Yet, I continue to believe. Believing that Jesus is my savior, my provider, for me, for my family.
This is no act of faith, rather it seems more like desperation. I'm a desperate soul seeking for help, I know I can't do it on my own. Even if things doesn't seem to turn out the way I was hoping it to, or if my prayers seem unanswered I'm gonna continue to believe, what else can I do?
There's something that i'm beyond doubt, that is the faithfulness and love of my daddy God.
Love that prepared a home for my grandfather, Love sent His son to die for my grandfather.
I pray that my grandfather is home with Jesus right now, free from his sufferings, reunited with my grandma.
I miss them so much.
posted by Jonathan Wan at
1:01 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home