Life in China

7/3/07

I've been in China for a week.

I'm working in Shanghai, no, not the big metropolitan you see on the news and paper everyday. I'm a little town called She Shan in one of the districts of Shanghai. She Shan is smaller, dirtier and noisier than your average little town back home.

My apartment I share with 2 other collegues. Think of a small 2 room apartment with very minimal furniture and no renovation, leaving me with more or less a bed with four empty walls. And lets not talk about the bathroom.

Work has been tough, we're receiving banquet after banquet and even though i'm not requested to do the 'dirty work' its much tougher than your everyday 9-6 job. I had a taste of my first overtime by working from 2.00pm in the afternoon all the way till 3.00am in the morning with no other way but to take a 40 minute walk back home.

My feelings...

I'm totally worn out. I almost gave up the first day I saw the place i'd be living in for the next 9 months. Just picture this, my housemate, a native Chinese from another province in China initially couldn't even accept the fact that she'd be living in a place like this. Whatmore a foreigner like me? Un-accustomed to the culture and the living standards of the Chinese people. Even though we're the same race, yet a few generations in Malaysia and Singapore has changed us more than one would have thought. We're so alike yet so different in a way.

Turnover rate at my hotel is very high, and is always short of staff - I can see why. My questionis will I be part of the turnover before my 9 months.

With an open ticket in my bag its tempting to take a taxi to bring me back to the airport and board the next flight back home. I haven't even unpacked most of my stuff. I'm living life one day at the time. Counting the days, and so far i've only counted one week.

Sometimes I wonder why do I get myself into such situations? People say this is life, its a good opportunity to learn and grow up, many people live in much worst situations than me - I could definitely say that for the rest of my banquet collegues. But thats doesn't mean one has to go through all these crap to succeed does it?

I know this Hospitality thing is not for me. It has only brought me from one bad situation to the next. But I thank God that my calling has nothing to do with any of these. I read an NCC devotional back in Malaysia saying that we're called from our mother's womb - meaning God has a calling for us since before we were born. Its not after graduating High School only does he have a calling for us, its also not about our education. So regardless whether we chosed the right course or not we can still fulfill our calling.

I've found my new identity in Christ. Now I need to believe that i'm still God's beloved despite all these circumstances. Never once in my life have I so depended on His Grace, His Favour, His Favour.

Every morning I wake up Homesick. Just looking around my surroundings makes me wanna go home. After a long day of work I feel like i've got no home to go to. I hate this life. The reason I still wake up everyday and sleep every night is knowing that i've got God, and with God i've got hope.

I live everyday through His blessings. In these circumstances i'm still so blessed by Him. I have a wonderful housemate, some great collegues and a Human Resource Manager being my Singaporean Sister who understands my situation.

I have no idea how long can I tolerate this. I pray for a way out. I want Out.

11/7/07

Its Sunday. I'm lucky to have this weekend off. We're entitled to 2 days off per week in China but working in the Banquet Department doesn't guarantee us that luxury. Went out to Shanghai City yesterday - The Real Shanghai Metropolitan.

The difference are Heaven and Hell, Black and White, Up and Down - Total Opposite! Its easy to overcome Homesickness in Shanghai, Malaysian supermarkets (i.e. Parkson), Singaporean Restaurants (i.e. Prima Taste) are not hard to find.

Direct import products from Singapore and Malaysia are available at a higher price but nevertheless available. You have your typical electronics district, shopping districts, makan districts that are similar to our local counterparts. There are also quite a number of Malaysians and Singaporeans living in Shanghai.

Getting away from the mundane lifeless Kampung Life in SheShan did make me feel alive again. Also serving as a reminder that life in SheShan is only temporary. I can't wait to go home!

Work has been tough and its only gonna get tougher.

I'm blessed and i'm only gonna get more blessed!

God is good, i've been really down ever since I came and i've been crying out to Him. God blessed me with a Singaporean Sis - Ms. Joyce thats looks out for me, and not just so, she's even letting me stay at her apartment whenever I want. Its supposedly not allowed but she understands my situation and she doesn't mind. I'm truly blessed despite my circumstances.

Funny how God keeps using Singaporeans to bless me, first a Singaporean Church, a Singaporean Brother in Switzerland and now a Singaporean Sister in China. I find that Malaysians and Singaporeans are more than neighbours, we're family. They're some nasty Singaporeans as well as nasty Malaysians but I can't help but feel a sense of familiarity whenever i'm introduced to a Singaporean or Malaysian overseas. We're practically the same. I do have plans to work in Singapore.

My family have been supportive, they've been encouraging me to endeavour for the next 9 months and i'll try. 9 months is a long time and I don't know whats gonna happen in between. For now i'm still living a day at a time, not holding on to anything but letting God hold on to me. I give up, I don't want to strive to survive, i'll do my job and i'll leave the rest to Jesus - The Finished Work.