Boasting In My Weaknesses

Yesterday, i sent an email to Yue Hua. I told her about how i regret choosing this 'Career Path' and that humility is not an issue for me for i find that i have got nothing to boast about. I always hear my peers saying 'I could do this, and that' or 'Ceh, thats simple' and inside me i'm like 'walao, there's alot of things i duno leh'. I also mentioned how ironic is it that my chinese name Weng Yew (荣耀) actually means 'Glory' yet thats something i find that i'm not bringing to my God and my family. I don't find myself scoring straight A's, i'm not exactly a super star in my Primary & Secondary school years, and my 'first college year' doesn't seem to be a blast as well.

Today morning, i heard a sermon from New Creation Church's Youth Pastor - Ps Chin. It was about 'Exchanging Your Strength With Jesus' Strength' i realised how wrong i was, i've got loads to boast about, just as Paul did in 2 Corinthians, Paul boast in his weaknesses for When I Am Weak, Then I Am Strong.I'm always wondering how is it that some people just seems to be SuperStars, they have very evident talents and they seem to know what they want in life. I on the other hand have only kept asking God to show me what am i good at, to show me my pathway. I felt too dependant, i was even afraid that God would get fed up on me. I'm like this as well when it comes to having life partner, okay, i see no point hiding the fact that i want a life partner, it's my dream to have a family. I've always been praying that God provide me with the most suitable one, yet i see that some people don't even need to pray and all the girls just get attracted to them like lalat attracted to tahi. what i'm trying to say is that i feel like my entire life depends on God, i don't seem to be good at much therefore i find that i need God so much.

it's good to depend on God, however it's different to know you need to Depend on God but still depend on your own efforts. Knowing isn't enough, you have to know you need God and LET GO. Depending on our own efforts isn't just striving for that position or that girl but also succumbing to our own emotions. as i said in my last post, we may be grieved yet the joy of the Lord is forever in our hearts. We feel devastated, we feel sad, we feel discouraged when circumstances and failure fall upon us because we're looking at ourselves NOT GOD. for example when we fail our exams, we get all upset with ourselves perhaps for not working hard enough, or discouraged thinking that we're not Smart enough. letting go means knowing its no longer about us, it's looking at God, when you seek God you will know that God isn't about your grades, God isn't about your Intellect, God is about YOU. the things you get out of your trials and circumstances are so much BIGGER than the problem itself. little do we realize how small significant things of man's standard can be when it comes to God. People say at this day and age you don't get a Degree you can never get a job, a degree may be important but a Degree doesn't last, YOU DO.

Ps Chin was telling us how he failed to get the girls he wanted back in his teenage days, and all the trials he had to go through be it in Relationship, Studies or Career. I believe all of us could relate to him, and he became what he is today simply because of God's Favour not on his own efforts. If he would have had the girl he wanted back then or if he would have been super smart and scored straight A's back then he would not have known what it means to let go and depend on God. He wouldn't be where and most importantly HOW he is today!

Ps Chin shared the story about Jacob wrestling with God in Genesis 32: 22-31. Jacob was a man who depended on his own efforts, he got his father's blessing by decieving his father, one night Jacob was left alone with God, and he Wrestled with God till daybreak. Jacob just didn't wanna let go and let God, in turn God touched the socket of Jacob's hip so that his rip was wrenched. What this means is that there are times and there are some people who are so confident over their own efforts, they find no need to depend on God because everything seem to be so in place for them. The hip that God wrenched represents Strength, after God wrenched Jacob's hip Jacob was limping and he had to depend on God from then on. Sometimes we wonder why doesn't God give me this talent or this ability that's because God wants us to depend on Him rather than to be self sufficient.

but the point here is not that God holds back things from us, God wants us to seek Him and when we do, the floodgates of heaven would pour out and you would be so blessed you can't help but shine God's Glory. if anyone out there who's 'fearful' of their studies, in doubt of their abilities, uncertain about the future, Welcome To The Club! the good news is that God loves 'Losers by World Standards'. our weaknesses are all but a blessing in disguise and when we Let Go and Let God, God will bless us abundantly with good things, not because we deserve it, but because He Loves Us. I haven't been a 'superstar' in my school years i seem to be suffering through my first college year, yet it's all but temporary, God has a wonderful future planned for me, now that i know its all Him, i need not worry and i'm rest assured that my Future will be a Hopeful and Blessed Future.

(just so u ppl know, i still wanna leave Switzerland ASAP, i'm still uncertain about alot of things, there's still alot of question and confusion but i just wanna share this post with you guys so that we could Let Go and Let God together, we could learn how to be grateful and praise God in our circumstances and ultimately God Glory be manifested upon us!)